Thursday, 2 July 2009


these few weeks have been hellish for me. correction. these 2 months. the colleague keeps finding trouble with me. the boss keeps pushing all the fault on me.

glad i left them all.

in a way i'm quite disappointed with myself. if there was the opportunity, i would have given a two-weeks notice. but unfortunately, I'm just too pissed.

and on to relationships. the boyfriend kept showing me attitude problems.

whenever we are chatting over the phone, he'll just keep quiet and not talk. if you don't feel like talking, then why initiate the phone conversation in the first place?

today and tomorrow. i'm not going to talk to him. if he dont feel like talking, so be it.

Wednesday, 6 May 2009

I've got to thank my "Good" friend for helping with this blog. let's just call him Y. and he's quite an asshole.

"You changed the username and password, what is so difficult in changing the profile name?"

apparently his accidental appearance in my blog started quite a big fight among his friends. but he deserved it. like i said, he has turned into quite an asshole. i'm just getting even with him.

maybe he's still pissed that i rejected him two years ago. TWO FRIGGIN YEARS AGO. dont you think you should have gotten over it? he dont really talk to me anymore. come to think of it, i'm always the one initiating all the conversations. i dont know. maybe something in me just kinda like to be trashed this way.

or maybe i should have rejected him in a more romantic way? wtf. it's a rejection. for goodness sake.

take for example last week. i saw him in town. later that night i told him that

Me: Heya. Saw you in town today

Mr Y: oh. y didnt say hi then?

Me: Opposite side of the road ma. by the time i crossed over you were so far front already.

MR Y: lol.

and that's it. he didnt bother to carry on the conversation. what an asshole.

now come to think of it, havent really went out and hung out with him for at least a year. always telling me how busy he was. exams, school, etc etc.

but i still ask him out once in a while. i just like to have him reject me. i absolutely love it when he becomes all squirmish and tries to find an excuse not to hang out with me. he's probably afraid we'll get drunk and do something stupid together.


reminds me the last time we went out. we went for some drinks. and we took the water taxi ride. we almost started making out on the boat.


they are so cheap.

he'll put his arms around me and start to lean closer and closer. i teased him for a while before walking away. and surprisingly, he pulled me back by my waist. goes to show how drunk he was.

i guess he's ignoring me for fear his present girlfriend might find out about our little trysts once in a while.

it's just too bad he needs alcohol to loosen up. he is way too uptight about everything.

now i feel like getting him drunk again. maybe we can make out and let his precious little girlfriend find out about it.

till then...

Tuesday, 5 May 2009


I'm not sure if comments are allowed here. but who cares?

realised i made a little mistake. hope nobody saw that. but then again, who cares? i know the risk when i started all of this nonsense.

maybe today i should look at things from an opposite point of view.

but again. who cares?

the boyfriend had been coming over more often quite recently. i know he just wants sex.

he actually took the pain to wake up early, buy me some breakfast before coming over. and sitting there to watch tv with me.

wont be our first time having sex, but something compelled me to just write about this.

well he started getting all touchy feely during the tv-watching session.

kissed me a few times. stroking my thighs. you can tell he's trying to go between my thighs. decided to play hard to get so kept my legs closed tight. after an hour or two, i relented. but just for the sake of making him wait, i went to take a drink of water and pee. when i came back to the living room, he stood up and grabbed me around the waist and we started kissing. kinda made me realised that we're always frenching.

and his hands just started roaming all over my back, but it wasnt long before it went to my ass. i know he's feeling down my ass crack. but i'm gonna keep him waiting.

at the same time, i can feel his penis getting erected. that little bugger just got harder and harder.


he then slipped his hand into my panties and started groping and feeling around. what could i do? i succumbed. i like to have him touching me. perhaps it's just the right time and right place. i dont know. and in a way i tried not to think too much. spoils the vibe you know.

so i unzipped his jeans and reached into his underwear too. stroking his penis. oh boy, he sure is erected. somehow unzipping him made him thought it was ok to start stripping me. and so he pulled off my fbt shorts.

girls adore fbt shorts and guys adore girls in fbt shorts. we all know the truth.

and he started to sway with the motion of me stroking him.

honestly, we stood there for a good 45 minutes.

45 minutes! STANDING! you can call it foreplay or mutual masturbation. but he found my mound through my panties and starting rubbing it through the panties. and i'm getting wetter and wetter.

so i told him to go sit down on the couch. he's pretty worked up by now. i can already feel the wetness of the precum and i'm getting wet wet wet wet too.

gave him some oral. not sure if he likes it. he's so quiet. all the time. but who cares. in a way i like to give him oral too, though not the other way round. somehow i just dont like getting oral. he's disappointed by that. maybe a little disappointment for him once in a while is good.

proteins. proteins from men. or maybe just specifically his proteins. his semen tasted bitter. and he's getting impatient.

"You wanna go to the room?"

sure why not?

lied down on the bed and we're both half naked.
we kissed and kissed. wetness.


he took out his dick and started to dry hump me. missionary. i can feel his weight. i prefer to be on top when dry humping. but i knew that day's not just gonna stop at dry humping.

and he asked me to turn over.

i was a little surprised. thought he's gonna just ask me to strip.

he didnt ask. he stripped me. and placed his dick between my asscheeks. he came all over my asscheeks.

laid there for a while.

watched some tv again.

got a little boring. so i went down and blew him again. he pulled me up and asked

"Are you ready?"

ready for what? ok sure, i'm ready.

he pushed me onto my back and laid on top of me.

well, maybe i shouldnt have blew him. but who cares?

i know what he wants.

i spread my legs and he slided in.

i always like the feeling of the intial entrance. not so much of the ongoing sex. i just like the feeling of his dick sliding into my pussy. pushing my muscles apart. and he has a funny way of sliding in. always nice and gentle in the beginning, but as the base of his dick is reaching my mound, he'll suddenly thrust in very hardly.

kinda exciting. sexciting.

after humping a few times, he pulled out.

"Forgot the condoms."

he said that so sheepishly.

on came the rubber and in came the dick again.

i just laid down there. not moving. while he just humped away. remembering to kiss me every once in while. i tried to go on top, but just 5 minutes later, he switched back to missionary again.


he never lets me take control.

what a control freak.

maybe he could feel that i'm not that interested in sex anymore. it was just me lying there with my legs opened wide for him. and him on top of. grinding. humping. rubbing. we did doggy too. and he liked it.

"Can feel more in this position."

since he didnt let me be in control, i went back to missionary. his disappointed look. men should be disappointed more often.

apart from the sense of sex coming from down there every time he thrusted, i dont really feel anything. numb already? and then he pulled out and said

"I came."

so business-like. he needed a fuck, and i'm able to be fucked.

watched him pull out slowly. the tip of the condom filled with his proteins. had this sudden urge to just grab it.

i remember sex used to be more fun.

doing it on the beach at night. he thought no one was looking. i can see all the eyes staring at us.

doing it in multistorey carparks. the embarrassment when people walked in on us when he was still inside me.

maybe i should have a good talk with him regarding sex. or not. he might just take it that i want to be fucked again.


they only think with the lower half of their bodies. and i'll admit i love the lower half of their bodies too.

Monday, 13 April 2009

Well, the girlfriend's been giving me problems again recently.

well, just one problem last night. woke me up in the middle of the night and told me that she is very frustrated that her ipod hung. so i quivkly went online to help her search for remedies to her problem. turned out she's not interested and cant wait to hang up the call on me.

ok i'm pissed. last semester the same thing happened durng my examinations. but maybe this time round i'm less concerned. i dont care. at least that's what i think.

worried about little time to digest everything. i should have worked harder during normal semester period. oh well.

and uni friends are like avoiding me life crazy. is it just me or is it just coincidence? i have no idea and i am really pissed about that.

by looking at which of your friends remembered your birthday, it's very easy to tell which friends are worth keeping. although i admit that is the absolute gauge because there are some people who remembered my birthday even though i dont want them to.

since i'm on the topic of my birthday and situations with my girlfriend.

i feel like talking a little more about my birthday. seems like she's not really interested in celebrating mine. hmm... i had to persuade her to go out with me. she kept saying that i dont need to go out with her if i have something else. she knows very well that i have NOTHING on. so what's her problem? and she said nothing towards the day. and i had to thank HER for letting me spend my birthday with her.


i need to do some reflections.

i guess it's just better that i keep my birthdays to myself from now on. because i cant belief that even my girlfriend isn't interested in it. now that's sad.

i find it a little hard to believe that i have some friends that swears by no-sex-before-marriage.

quite interesting. especially for the guys. seriously, how can a guy just say he's not interested in sex? it's like as if the guy is saying that he has never watched porn before.

i secretly believe that some of my friends are involved in having sex with their partners but not talking about it in public.

quite a pity. i would really love to talk them and find out how they feel during sex.

10 more days till the end of exams.

i have just got to hang in there.

Wednesday, 25 March 2009

Well, I've started yet another blog. I'm an insecure person. I'm pissed that nobody tagged at my other blogs. But oh well.

I've decided that I'll just leave the other blog as stagnant as possible till somebody start asking me what's going on in my life. Although I've already done that.

I do wanna try to link this one to the other one although it will be pretty risky. But i doubt anybody will notice.


why gwen? maybe subconsciously if i was a girl, i want to be a gwen? But forget it, gwen shall be the link.

i'll admit i'm a hypocrite. i hate people who are emo and yet i am probably one of the most emo person around. at least i hide it well.

been thinking, maybe i should try the "One article a day" method. like try to be a columnist. i've been feeling like i really love to write. so this shall be a test if i can really do it.

so let's talk about a few things:


all i can say is so far so good. 8 months down the road and we havent really had a good quarrel. and by definition of a good quarrel, i mean both sides are really losing their temper at each other. yeah that's great. got to meet almost all her family. kinda jealous that she gets such a loving and supportive family. oh well.

more to write about, but i shall stop here.


now this is one really sticky issue.
i have always thought that i have an extremely small group of friends. or at least a very small social circle.

yet, by and by, i've got to know more and more people. and at different stages of my life, i'll feel that different friends might actually make it as one of those "friends-for-life" kind. sad thing is, it isn't true.

friends just pass by me. i'll admit that it's perhaps that i just dont have the time and am a little too lazy to actually bother to keep up with everyone because i'm getting to know new groups of people all the time.

close friends? they come from different stages. secondary school, JC, NS, university. but university is still too early to say. as a matter fact, i'm a little worried about friends from university. because some of them are already starting to get on my nerves, and i am already getting on some of their nerves.

i'm not an idiot. i know when people are hating me.

right now i feel like talking about the guitar ensemble group of friends.


i used to think that we will be a very small and tight group. and yet the further we go in time, the more i feel that nothing can work out for me.

i mean there's the usual playboy who is always the centre of attention for all the girls and still pretend to be unaware of it. there's the freak that sprouts so much nonsense that it just gets on my nerve. there's the spoilt brat that gets almost everything in the world and yet complain about how the failing world economy is affecting the spending pattern. the sophisticated one who, well, pretends to be sophisticated. and many, many more.

so i've decided to just shun away from all their activities. disengage myself from them, so as to speak.

and there are all the upcoming birthdays. so i think maybe i should just sent a text message or greet them on facebook. that's all.

maybe i am the misfit. but doesnt really matter. so be it if i'm the misfit.


oh well. there's the group from my schoolmates there. especially the three stooges. haha.

and to think that i was romantically involved with one of them when i was so young and naive.

what really gets on my nerves are the bimbo and the child. we have the bimbo as she really really acts like a bimbo and pretends that people do like her. maybe that's too harsh. maybe somewhere, there is someone who really likes her. but i guess who in the right frame of mind will want to like somebody who pretends to be jaded with life. you just turned TWENTY recently. what is there to be jaded about? is it cool to be jaded? and we have the CHILD. You're a good TWENTY already. stop sending text messages as tHOugH iT's FuN To gO CRazY CaPS. it's not. trust me. i get a fantastic headache.

oh and did i mention how i was milked by them? each birthday by them stooges, i have to cough up a good $50. What am i? a walking ATM? i dont want to selfish. but out of the three of you, i "donated" $100 altogether. and i DIDNT get anything on my own birthday. even though you all kept claiming how you all want to treat me to dinner.



do i look like an idiot?

you guys didnt even bother to get me a present. because if you all did, you all would try to pass it to me.

since there was no actions by any of you people to meet me, it is so easily assumed that nothing was prepared for me.

now i'm starting to sound like one of them. for them, it's always about "me, me and me".

haha. and how they pretend to be in a university when they are taking a course that's being held in a rented room in an office building.

try going to an ACTUAL university. NTU, NUS, SMU, SIM. not a rented room in an office building. and going on and on about how schoolwork is crushing you.

jeez. crushing you? lol. students are stabbing and hanging each other and you feel crushed?

please feel ashamed yourselves.

and for the last time, PlEAse StOP TYpiNg tHiS WaY. thank you.

wow, so much anger in a post. haha. i'll try to find a direction in my posts for the future. since i'm assuming this to be a long-term project on my part.

i guess it'll be fun if i poke fun at some things i observe. but i'll see how thigns go. i'm not a good writer, just aspiring to be one.